You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
