he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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