Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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