I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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