Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?

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(785): View more from Kansas

Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.

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(281): View more from Texas

Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.

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(703): View more from Virginia

theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head

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(571): View more from Virginia

I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it

(812): View more from Indiana

You had 10 drinks. On a first date.

(571): View more from Virginia

I just masterbated then started bawling.

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(512): View more from Texas

You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕

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