Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

(406): View more from Montana

IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

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(509): Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober. (406): IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out. http://tfl.nu/sia4

Replies (10) Good night (1223) Bad night (4155)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.

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(859): I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you. http://tfl.nu/a48g

Replies (14) Good night (5640) Bad night (2275)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

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(423): I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats. http://tfl.nu/9par

Replies (6) Good night (2061) Bad night (2672)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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(770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8

Replies (10) Good night (1122) Bad night (2870)
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(50): View more from

I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.

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(50): I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious. http://tfl.nu/irod

Replies (5) Good night (3113) Bad night (912)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...

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(336): Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text... http://tfl.nu/pmgt

Replies (5) Good night (1976) Bad night (576)
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(207): View more from Maine

I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo

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(207): I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo http://tfl.nu/r3az

Replies (7) Good night (1641) Bad night (578)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.

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(708): I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me. http://tfl.nu/lj2n

Replies (3) Good night (1311) Bad night (564)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.

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(919): It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake. http://tfl.nu/4cm4

Replies (9) Good night (535) Bad night (1199)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.

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(803): One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big. http://tfl.nu/i8v0

Replies (10) Good night (1156) Bad night (580)
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(440): View more from Ohio

"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.

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(440): "I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth. http://tfl.nu/p4vu

Replies (5) Good night (469) Bad night (783)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?

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(740): I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage? http://tfl.nu/ih0x

Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (410)
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(312): View more from Illinois

woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least

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(312): woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least http://tfl.nu/d3yx

Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (428)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...

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(312): I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE... http://tfl.nu/ssdd

Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (658)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss

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(316): I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss http://tfl.nu/1mn2

Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (684)

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