Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

   I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set

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  (310): I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set http://tfl.nu/e5hl
  Replies (2) Good night (1233) Bad night (458)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Can I ask u a weird question?

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  Sure

  (509): View more from Washington

  do u have the hershy squirts too?

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  (509): Can I ask u a weird question? (1-509): Sure (509): do u have the hershy squirts too? http://tfl.nu/s8pz
  Replies (20) Good night (547) Bad night (3559)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes

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  (610): Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes http://tfl.nu/106l
  Replies (26) Good night (588) Bad night (4412)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?

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  (518): The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right? http://tfl.nu/odtd
  Replies (25) Good night (10212) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

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  (419): so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer. http://tfl.nu/r6k4
  Replies (17) Good night (626) Bad night (7042)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my vagina's been through so much this weekend

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

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  (860): my vagina's been through so much this weekend (1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend? http://tfl.nu/jr6r
  Replies (35) Good night (7677) Bad night (1044)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy

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  (678): I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy http://tfl.nu/r472
  Replies (11) Good night (4458) Bad night (822)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

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  (609): they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate. http://tfl.nu/wnmg
  Replies (11) Good night (966) Bad night (4991)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

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  (917): I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM http://tfl.nu/bjwa
  Replies (5) Good night (3078) Bad night (800)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

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  (478): Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio. http://tfl.nu/i0fo
  Replies (6) Good night (2226) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever

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  (412): There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever http://tfl.nu/r55b
  Replies (9) Good night (1328) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need Jameson.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.

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  (540): I need Jameson. (240): Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot. http://tfl.nu/qo8a
  Replies (7) Good night (1292) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Worth it.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth

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  (617): All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless (508): Worth it. (617): I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth http://tfl.nu/dnz7
  Replies (11) Good night (980) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date

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  (704): We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date http://tfl.nu/7for
  Replies (1) Good night (1001) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party

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  (402): In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party http://tfl.nu/gnzr
  Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (184)

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