Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

(773): View more from Illinois

"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

(773): View more from Illinois

I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

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(773): Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could. (773): "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible. (773): I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive. http://tfl.nu/kn2s

Replies (21) Good night (874) Bad night (1571)
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(303): View more from Colorado

It smells like weed.

(720): View more from Colorado

We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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(303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb

Replies (41) Good night (3964) Bad night (641)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

(901): View more from Tennessee

fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

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(901): oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass (901): fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings http://tfl.nu/b0u6

Replies (118) Good night (4485) Bad night (1421)
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(703): View more from Virginia

BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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(703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP. http://tfl.nu/bqsy

Replies (20) Good night (1069) Bad night (6583)
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(312): View more from Illinois

so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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(312): so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion? http://tfl.nu/og9d

Replies (97) Good night (1097) Bad night (8168)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

(614): View more from Ohio

We've got ourselves a situation

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(614): Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and.... (614): We've got ourselves a situation http://tfl.nu/efwe

Replies (51) Good night (7234) Bad night (816)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..

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(610): He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him.. http://tfl.nu/ejw3

Replies (10) Good night (1461) Bad night (3648)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...

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(978): FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong... http://tfl.nu/4k47

Replies (7) Good night (4019) Bad night (973)
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(925): View more from California

Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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(925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa

Replies (14) Good night (4022) Bad night (949)
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(574): View more from Indiana

its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?

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(574): its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you? http://tfl.nu/7h5q

Replies (4) Good night (951) Bad night (1917)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.

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(504): Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated. http://tfl.nu/1xhy

Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (1998)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I stole a fireplace last night.

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(201): I stole a fireplace last night. http://tfl.nu/uv7e

Replies (15) Good night (2426) Bad night (1154)
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(239): View more from Florida

I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.

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(239): I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/tffx

Replies (5) Good night (553) Bad night (1335)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.

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(910): A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart. http://tfl.nu/fy2b

Replies (9) Good night (1011) Bad night (528)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.

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(580): It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck. http://tfl.nu/h6bo

Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (1225)

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