ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..