Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
