I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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