Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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