its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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