I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
