they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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