Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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