Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
