She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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