just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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