I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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