Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
