so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
