your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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