does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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