Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
