somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
