I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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