Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
