last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
