So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am one with the molecules
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize