we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
