Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
