Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
