I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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