I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I love you.
Bad choice
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
