well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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