nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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