I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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