a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
