I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Moan for me like Helen Keller
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
