So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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