Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
