I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
