she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
