walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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