# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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