I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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