I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
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I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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