marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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