i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you will always have a special place in my vag
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
