I'm laying in your front yard are you home
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
