i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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