i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
