A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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