I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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