I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
"it" just moved
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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