so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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