my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
