I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
