i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
