There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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