I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize